1. Ability to recite in-depth facts about various infomercial products.

2. Increased awareness of what’s happening on social media at all times.

3. Feelings of extreme sadness when people aren’t available for your texts at what some people call ~ridiculous~ hours.

4. Impressive ability to perform a million tiny, quiet cleaning projects.

5. Heightened email activity between the hours of midnight and 3 a.m.

6. Uncontrollable urge to throw shade at people who go to bed early.