Funny Sayings Of The Week

I can't go to bed shit is happening on the internet I don't get nearly enough credit for managing not to be a violent psychopath I just checked my pulse yep still crazy I run entirely on caffein, sarcasm and inappropriate thoughts I stay in shape by doing yoga and by doing yoga i really mean shaving my legs I thought I had 101 dollars but it was just my bank statement saying LOL I wish I had a job where i could punch asshole in the face all day I'm finally losing weight this whole not having enough money to buy food