Are you a volcano? (Why?) Because you make my heart explode.

Are you a volcano? (Why?) Because you make my heart explode.

Oh your profile picture is a car….. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were a transformer.

Oh your profile picture is a car. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a transformer.

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

I asked my trainer which machine at the gym I should use to impress beautiful women…he pointed outside and said “The ATM machine”.

humorous quotes

I’m super lazy today, which is like normal lazy but I’m also wearing a cape.

I'm super lazy today, which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape.

Shit just goat serious

Shit just goat serious

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