1. This completely legit attempt at fixing a ceiling leak.
2. The landlord who brazenly took part in this trickery.
3. The landlord who created this flawless front door lock.
4. And the one who installed this joke of a lock.
5. This shady landlord who repaired bullet damage like THIS.
6. This landlord who doesn’t give a fuck about fire safety.
1. You’re at your desk, minding your own business, when all of a sudden it hits you.
2. Something isn’t sitting well with your stomach. Was it the burrito you had for lunch? Or was it that third cup of coffee?
3. You try to be optimistic: Maybe you’ll get lucky, maybe no one will be in the bathroom.
4. HAHA WHO ARE YOU KIDDING? OF COURSE THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE BATHROOM.
5. You play it cool, smile politely. “They’ll be out of here soon,” you reassure yourself.
6. You settle into a stall. Sure you’ll be patient, but your bowels, they wait for no one.
Can you even DO a sink-stand bro
HELLO
Here’s what’s happening. I’ve hidden the TP and you and I are going to have a little talk about treat frequency
Hey is this your douchebag or your butt loofah
I saw it. I saw everything
I’m the real reason your pants feel tight in the crotch
If you’re almost finished some of us are getting thirsty
It’s not what it looks like
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