This man who was faced with the most difficult choice in his life.

When Richard decided to go into the hotel business.

Whoever chose “delishness” and now has to live with this guilt.

Whoever created these labels.

Whoever decided not to hire movers.

Whoever decided to abbreviate Butterfinger.

Whoever designed this hospital and gave new meaning to “eating out.

Whoever didn’t realize just how expensive children are.

Whoever encounters this on the sidewalk.

“Whoever got stoned and sold all the furniture for a donut.

Whoever had to deal with this bullshit.

Whoever has to make this choice.

Whoever loves rice and now has a lifetime of explaining to do.

Whoever needs a toilet paper holder but loves ducks, bears, and horses equally.

Whoever simply read “FREE PIZZA”

Whoever was faced with this existential crisis.