1. OK, first things first, this isn’t a post for people who are all, “OH, look at me, I’m so cute, I can’t stand mornings!!!!!”
2. THIS, comrades, is a post for people who are profoundly traumatised by the process of waking up each and every morning.
3. You’re not just like, “Oh, jeez, I haven’t had my coffee yet!”
4. You wake up every morning and – NO MATTER WHAT TIME IT IS – it’s the worst part of your day by a mile.
5. You have never made a remotely cute face in the morning.
6. No matter how logical and put together you are for the rest of the day, when you’ve just woken up, NOTHING is worth getting out of bed for.
7. Seriously, nothing is more important than continued sleep. Supposed to be meeting a friend? F*#k friendship.
1. As a kid, at sleepovers you were always the first one to go to bed.
2. And now, you’re completely used to going to bed when it’s still light outside in the summer.
3. Getting a Facebook invite for a party that starts late is your idea of hell.
4. And going out late on a work night is basically out of the question.
5. You have been known to leave a party before it starts getting going.
6. But New Year’s Eve is the worst night of the year because you have GOT to stay up.
7. Sharing a house with people who go to bed later than you is enough to make you want to move out.
1. Usually they’ll be up and dressed before you’ve even contemplated opening your eyes.
2. Which can sometimes be good, because they’ll have done loads of chores before you’re even awake.
3. And they’re always pestering you to get out of bed.
4. Sometimes they’ll be coming home FROM THE GYM while you’re still sleeping.
5. They see no problem in starting a full conversation at 7am.
6. And ask you difficult questions first thing in the morning.
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