At all costs
Avoid using cups and bowls…
Blend soap and water to clean a blender
Clean greasy gas burners in a sealed plastic bag with ammonia
Clean your microwave and your sponge all at once
Keep cleaning liquid in the bottom of the toilet brush pan
Line your toaster tray with foil before toasting anything
Run 1 part vinegar + 1 part water through a brew cycle in your coffeemaker
Soak a non-toxic and biodegradable dryer sheet in a pan to remove baked-on food
Your mornings revolve around hitting your snooze button repetitively.
As a result, people are often asking you why you’re so angry.
But on the plus side, you’re super productive at night-time when everyone else is sleeping.
Do they know sunsets are actually way better
In fact, you avoid all conversations people before 9 am.
Um, because, it’s too early to be up, idiots, more like, WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY
What is a sunrise?
…as well as preparing your lunch. Preparation = more zzzz’s.
And as soon as your alarm goes off, the first phrases you utter are all swearwords.
And more often than not, you’re late for work.
